5 Questions Romance Novelists Shouldn’t Ask

I have one of those brains that picks things apart and looks at angles that should’ve remained buried. Which is why I think of questions romance novelists shouldn’t ask themselves (or anyone really). Or drunken romance novel philosophy questions (not that I’m drunk, but those are the kinds of questions).

All right. Brace yourselves – here goes.

  1. Since people love pointing out flaws and feeling superior, can having small plot holes actually help increase your fan base by making people talk about the book more? Google loves tags to your site whether they’re good or bad, right?
  2. Do people who read romance novels that entirely skip the love scenes imagine what happened? Or do they note what occurred, blush a little, and move on? (I do not understand their reading choices, so I have no idea.)
  3. Do voice actors who record audio books for romance novelists also count as a kind of porn star? Some of those scenes get pretty graphic, and if they’re trying to act them out vocally… (And, come to think of it, they’re voicing both parts.)
  4. Do authors of series ever change which character ends up with which love to mess with their readers? I’ve heard of people getting fan mail telling/begging them to have certain characters end up together. And I can totally see that backfiring (Well, now, I can’t do that because you suggested it.).
  5. If people come because of reading your book, is that like having second-hand sex with you? I mean, you kind of caused it.

Now, that I’ve put those questions in your head (You’re welcome, and I’m sorry…), you have talking points for the next time you’re drunk and feeling philosophical. Or weird thoughts to get distracted by at work. Either way, if people react poorly, you can blame me.

And I can blame my brain. Lord knows where it comes up with this stuff.


4 thoughts on “5 Questions Romance Novelists Shouldn’t Ask

  1. Funny stuff.
    #1 – I wouldn’t worry, people always find something to complain about it, it’s their favorite thing
    #3 – I would say no, I feel they’re more like a phone sex operator

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi I have a question about the term “romance”… There are certain popular writers like Danielle Steel and Jackie Collins who are fairly often described as “romance” novelists, but would you agree with this categorization? I’ve only read a couple of Danielle Steels, although I’ve seen a good many adapted on TV, and I do think she writes in the style of a romance novelist. Jackie Collins is something else though. Her books are not love stories, in fact, at her best in the 70s and 80s she wrote best about people’s vices and hypocrisy, not love!
    On the other hand it can be argued the term “romance” deriving as it does from “Rome” simply means an adventure story or any story about characters or events that are larger than life. In this sense, Jackie Collins is very much a “romance” writer.
    It’s my understanding that when people originally spoke of a “romance” between a man and a woman meant a love story and a romance contrasted with an arranged marriage situation. That’s why when we talk of a historical romance we still to this day think of the Lord of the Manor’s goodlooking son falling in love with the beautiful kitchen maid, their love is a huge adventure, hence a romance.
    Am I right in saying this…? Does this strike any chords with you?
    PS: I’m a novelist too but I write animal stories and adventure stories. I would never in a million years refer to my own works as “romance”…!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi! You’re absolutely right that the term “romance” has had very different meanings throughout the years. I can’t claim to be an expert, but I do know that originally “gothic romance” were what we would call horror or suspense today.

      In modern terms, romance is defined more as a story that has characters falling in love as its main focus. It can include aspects of other genres, as well, but the love story is more important to the book as a whole. That’s why there are so many sub-genres (like paranormal romance for instance).

      The most common romance novel has elements of a mystery, as well, but that usually isn’t called out as a sub-genre. There is just some kind of crime or threat to be solved to take the plot out of the everyday. So I guess some elements of the original meaning remain after all.

      Like

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