I have one of those brains that picks things apart and looks at angles that should’ve remained buried. Which is why I think of questions romance novelists shouldn’t ask themselves (or anyone really). Or drunken romance novel philosophy questions (not that I’m drunk, but those are the kinds of questions).
All right. Brace yourselves – here goes.
- Since people love pointing out flaws and feeling superior, can having small plot holes actually help increase your fan base by making people talk about the book more? Google loves tags to your site whether they’re good or bad, right?
- Do people who read romance novels that entirely skip the love scenes imagine what happened? Or do they note what occurred, blush a little, and move on? (I do not understand their reading choices, so I have no idea.)
- Do voice actors who record audio books for romance novelists also count as a kind of porn star? Some of those scenes get pretty graphic, and if they’re trying to act them out vocally… (And, come to think of it, they’re voicing both parts.)
- Do authors of series ever change which character ends up with which love to mess with their readers? I’ve heard of people getting fan mail telling/begging them to have certain characters end up together. And I can totally see that backfiring (Well, now, I can’t do that because you suggested it.).
- If people come because of reading your book, is that like having second-hand sex with you? I mean, you kind of caused it.
Now, that I’ve put those questions in your head (You’re welcome, and I’m sorry…), you have talking points for the next time you’re drunk and feeling philosophical. Or weird thoughts to get distracted by at work. Either way, if people react poorly, you can blame me.
And I can blame my brain. Lord knows where it comes up with this stuff.